May 15th, 2025
by Dr. Spencer Plumlee
by Dr. Spencer Plumlee
Masculinity is in crisis in America. Over the last thirty years, radical feminism has created an environment where the focus has so solidly been on the advancement of women that men are being left behind. Boys are falling behind girls in just about every category. Here are some quick ChatGpt stats on this phenomenon:
Nancy Pearcey in her new book The Toxic War on Masculinity, sounds warning after warning about the way boys and young men are being marginalized and mischaracterized. In it, she chronicles how cultural narratives are increasingly portraying any expression of masculinity as “toxic” and a serious problem that must be solved.
“Spencer, aren’t you glad girls are doing well in our culture?” Of course I am! I’m thrilled that we live in a time in which my daughter can go to college, vote, and be treated with dignity and respect. But we must be clear-eyed about the problem: men are struggling. We must be able to encourage both men and women to live out their God-given design. Additionally, we should resist any notion that it’s somehow “good” that boys are doing worse than girls in many categories.
This past Sunday I taught that marriage is a supernatural creation of God in which we are invited to participate in an explanation and experience of Jesus. The backdrop for this is the gendered creation of men and women. Women nurture and cultivate with God-given warmth. Men protect and provide through God-given strength. In today’s post, I’d like to speak more about the need for Godly men, especially in light of the cultural narrative before us. After I lay out the why, I’ll share a few characteristics of a godly man.
Why do we need godly men?
A growing cultural trend is to dismiss men as “unneeded” or “optional.” The scripture teaches that both men and women are essential for God’s creation mandate in Genesis 1-2. We go nowhere without women in our culture. At a basic level, they are the only ones who can be mothers! But more, women carry a warmth and love without which our homes and culture at large would wither into cold, uncaring places.
But just as much as we need women, we also need men. Let me give you a few reasons why.
Men need to Express their Ontology. Men have a God-created wiring within them that will be expressed. The only question is, how will it be expressed? Men enjoy a God-given wiring to protect and provide through God-created strength. This will either come out as sinful masculinity that drifts to extremes like passivity or rage or it will come out as godly masculinity through service for the good of others. We need men to be godly because without Christ, they will be either over-grown children or power-hungry egomaniacs.
Women need Husbands. The sad result of radical feminism’s obsession with the advancement of women is that it’s created an environment in which many women are finding it difficult to find a husband. More and more men are failing to mature, failing to launch out from their parents, and as a result, fewer and fewer are eligible, or even desirous of marriage. Women need godly men so they can have husbands who they can submit to and follow, building a home that demonstrates the gospel.
Children need a Father. The research is resoundingly clear: children do best with a mother and a father. This should come as no surprise to us, since God designed it this way. We need godly men to not only marry women but also have children with these same women who they in turn partner with to raise these kids. There’s a strength that, for example, especially young boys need to experience from their fathers. Girls also need to feel the kind of affection a father offers.
Churches need Leaders. Our churches are meant to be led by godly men who shepherd Christ’s church. That same God-given strength that impacts wives and children is also meant to impact the church. The bible teaches that the office of elder or pastor is to be reserved for men. As such, our churches desperately need godly, strong, warm men who will lead.
Society Needs Strong Men. Without Jesus, men drift either to passivity as overgrown children or aggression as power-hungry ego-maniacs. Yes, these are extremes but they are real. Our culture needs the presence of strong, gentle, loving men who will be, for example, police officers, teachers, plumbers and fire-fighters. We need godly men in vocational fields who live out their work as a calling from God, expressing this with humility and strength.
What is a Godly Man?
Men are created by God to protect and provide through God-given strength. A godly man is a man who has trusted in Christ alone for salvation, surrendering to the power of the Spirit to sanctify and shape him. When this surrender takes place, the God-given strength implanted in every man is transformed. There are two dimensions to this transformation of a man I’d like to highlight that are the basic building blocks of biblical masculinity.
Strength that Produces Peace. A man’s god-given strength is meant to be expressed through a calming presence men bring to their homes and churches. God’s sanctifying work through the Holy Spirit produces this in a man. Life is hard. We live in a fallen, broken world that is filled with hardship and sorrow. Death, cancer, loss of a job, addictions, rebellious teenagers, and relational strife are just a few of the challenges we all face at one time or another. God calls men to step into these moments and use their God-given strength to be a calming presence.
Men, this means that you are not merely to watch these kinds of challenges happen, but to step into to be a person others can rely on. You should be the type of person your wife can look to for support and help. You should be the type of person your children can look to for a patient, wise counselor. You should be the type of person who can absorb much of the hurt and frustration of the people around you in your workplace and in the power of Christ stay calm.
For example, imagine getting home from work to find that your teenager is in a heated discussion with your wife about her grades. You walk into the conversation mid-stream, but at this point they are shouting at each other. Rather than jumping into the fray and shouting, you speak with measured, calm words, “I think we should take a break from talking about this for a while” or “before we go any further, let’s remember we are on the same side here.” Now, I’m not saying this is always easy or even effective, but at this moment the Dad is attempting to use his God-given strength to bring peace to the family.
This is not to say that women are not called to do similar things, or that they have no capacity to stay calm in difficulty. But their calling will normally be different, as they lean into their God-given comfort to provide a warm, loving care for those around them. Men provide a stability in which women and children can flourish and thrive. A man’s God-given strength means they are best equipped to create a culture of safety and protection even amidst life’s greatest storms. Men do this best when they are walking in the power of the Spirit in submission to king Jesus.
Strength that Produces Courage. Men also are designed to use their God-given strength to lead their families forward. The grace of God amplifies the God-given strength of a man so that he can both lead courageously and graciously. So often the type of chaos we mentioned above leaves people paralyzed. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the constant barrage of challenges and questions this world throws at us. Men are wired to not only stay calm in these moments, they are also designed to clearly set a direction and priorities as a normal part of their leadership.
This kind of strength means men do what’s hard and necessary. Yes, women have the ability to do this as well, but on the whole, they are more emotive and intuitive about decisions. Women will often highlight the impact a decision will have on, for example, the family when it comes to hard decisions. Men are called to step in with God-given strength and courageously do what’s best for their families, even when it’s hard.
Often this kind of leadership requires men to look ahead and “play the long game.” Men are not merely making decisions that are easy and comfortable, they are instead looking to the future. The north star by which men make these courageous decisions is Jesus. They want their family to honor Him, and so they filter decisions and challenges through the simple lens, “how will this impact my family’s honoring of King Jesus?”
For example, your son may be invited to play on a prestigious, travel baseball team for which the tournaments keep you out of church half of the year. Your wife finds it attractive because of the friends he would make through time on the team, but as a man, you see the impact this would have on your family. You say no with a God-given strength and courage and as graciously as you can walk through the disappointment both your son and your wife may feel.
This kind of leadership should always be expressed with gentleness and humility, but it cannot be abdicated. Remember men, something or someone is leading your family, God’s called you to do this with the God-given strength he provides.
My ministry as a pastor has largely been focused on men. “Spencer, don’t you care about women?” I absolutely do! I long to see our women serving in ministry, discipling other women, actively engaging in the life of our church and flourishing in God-given callings. But the best way for me to serve women in this church and the community we live in is to see our church challenge and produce Godly men who are qualified and capable husbands, fathers, church members and workers. When a church commits to cultivate godly men, it actually impacts families and communities in a profound way. This is needed now more than ever.
Spencer Plumlee
- Early Literacy: Girls outperform boys in reading and writing from 3rd to 8th grade, with girls nearly a full grade ahead by 8th grade. Article
- Math Achievement: Historically, boys have outperformed girls in math, but recent trends show girls catching up, especially in affluent and predominantly white districts. Article
- Advanced Coursework: Girls are more likely to enroll in advanced courses like AP and IB and tend to earn higher GPAs. Article
- High School Graduation: In 2021, 89.1% of girls graduated on time compared to 82.9% of boys. Article
- College: Women aged 25–34 are more likely than men to hold a bachelor’s degree (47% vs. 37%). Article
Nancy Pearcey in her new book The Toxic War on Masculinity, sounds warning after warning about the way boys and young men are being marginalized and mischaracterized. In it, she chronicles how cultural narratives are increasingly portraying any expression of masculinity as “toxic” and a serious problem that must be solved.
“Spencer, aren’t you glad girls are doing well in our culture?” Of course I am! I’m thrilled that we live in a time in which my daughter can go to college, vote, and be treated with dignity and respect. But we must be clear-eyed about the problem: men are struggling. We must be able to encourage both men and women to live out their God-given design. Additionally, we should resist any notion that it’s somehow “good” that boys are doing worse than girls in many categories.
This past Sunday I taught that marriage is a supernatural creation of God in which we are invited to participate in an explanation and experience of Jesus. The backdrop for this is the gendered creation of men and women. Women nurture and cultivate with God-given warmth. Men protect and provide through God-given strength. In today’s post, I’d like to speak more about the need for Godly men, especially in light of the cultural narrative before us. After I lay out the why, I’ll share a few characteristics of a godly man.
Why do we need godly men?
A growing cultural trend is to dismiss men as “unneeded” or “optional.” The scripture teaches that both men and women are essential for God’s creation mandate in Genesis 1-2. We go nowhere without women in our culture. At a basic level, they are the only ones who can be mothers! But more, women carry a warmth and love without which our homes and culture at large would wither into cold, uncaring places.
But just as much as we need women, we also need men. Let me give you a few reasons why.
Men need to Express their Ontology. Men have a God-created wiring within them that will be expressed. The only question is, how will it be expressed? Men enjoy a God-given wiring to protect and provide through God-created strength. This will either come out as sinful masculinity that drifts to extremes like passivity or rage or it will come out as godly masculinity through service for the good of others. We need men to be godly because without Christ, they will be either over-grown children or power-hungry egomaniacs.
Women need Husbands. The sad result of radical feminism’s obsession with the advancement of women is that it’s created an environment in which many women are finding it difficult to find a husband. More and more men are failing to mature, failing to launch out from their parents, and as a result, fewer and fewer are eligible, or even desirous of marriage. Women need godly men so they can have husbands who they can submit to and follow, building a home that demonstrates the gospel.
Children need a Father. The research is resoundingly clear: children do best with a mother and a father. This should come as no surprise to us, since God designed it this way. We need godly men to not only marry women but also have children with these same women who they in turn partner with to raise these kids. There’s a strength that, for example, especially young boys need to experience from their fathers. Girls also need to feel the kind of affection a father offers.
Churches need Leaders. Our churches are meant to be led by godly men who shepherd Christ’s church. That same God-given strength that impacts wives and children is also meant to impact the church. The bible teaches that the office of elder or pastor is to be reserved for men. As such, our churches desperately need godly, strong, warm men who will lead.
Society Needs Strong Men. Without Jesus, men drift either to passivity as overgrown children or aggression as power-hungry ego-maniacs. Yes, these are extremes but they are real. Our culture needs the presence of strong, gentle, loving men who will be, for example, police officers, teachers, plumbers and fire-fighters. We need godly men in vocational fields who live out their work as a calling from God, expressing this with humility and strength.
What is a Godly Man?
Men are created by God to protect and provide through God-given strength. A godly man is a man who has trusted in Christ alone for salvation, surrendering to the power of the Spirit to sanctify and shape him. When this surrender takes place, the God-given strength implanted in every man is transformed. There are two dimensions to this transformation of a man I’d like to highlight that are the basic building blocks of biblical masculinity.
Strength that Produces Peace. A man’s god-given strength is meant to be expressed through a calming presence men bring to their homes and churches. God’s sanctifying work through the Holy Spirit produces this in a man. Life is hard. We live in a fallen, broken world that is filled with hardship and sorrow. Death, cancer, loss of a job, addictions, rebellious teenagers, and relational strife are just a few of the challenges we all face at one time or another. God calls men to step into these moments and use their God-given strength to be a calming presence.
Men, this means that you are not merely to watch these kinds of challenges happen, but to step into to be a person others can rely on. You should be the type of person your wife can look to for support and help. You should be the type of person your children can look to for a patient, wise counselor. You should be the type of person who can absorb much of the hurt and frustration of the people around you in your workplace and in the power of Christ stay calm.
For example, imagine getting home from work to find that your teenager is in a heated discussion with your wife about her grades. You walk into the conversation mid-stream, but at this point they are shouting at each other. Rather than jumping into the fray and shouting, you speak with measured, calm words, “I think we should take a break from talking about this for a while” or “before we go any further, let’s remember we are on the same side here.” Now, I’m not saying this is always easy or even effective, but at this moment the Dad is attempting to use his God-given strength to bring peace to the family.
This is not to say that women are not called to do similar things, or that they have no capacity to stay calm in difficulty. But their calling will normally be different, as they lean into their God-given comfort to provide a warm, loving care for those around them. Men provide a stability in which women and children can flourish and thrive. A man’s God-given strength means they are best equipped to create a culture of safety and protection even amidst life’s greatest storms. Men do this best when they are walking in the power of the Spirit in submission to king Jesus.
Strength that Produces Courage. Men also are designed to use their God-given strength to lead their families forward. The grace of God amplifies the God-given strength of a man so that he can both lead courageously and graciously. So often the type of chaos we mentioned above leaves people paralyzed. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed by the constant barrage of challenges and questions this world throws at us. Men are wired to not only stay calm in these moments, they are also designed to clearly set a direction and priorities as a normal part of their leadership.
This kind of strength means men do what’s hard and necessary. Yes, women have the ability to do this as well, but on the whole, they are more emotive and intuitive about decisions. Women will often highlight the impact a decision will have on, for example, the family when it comes to hard decisions. Men are called to step in with God-given strength and courageously do what’s best for their families, even when it’s hard.
Often this kind of leadership requires men to look ahead and “play the long game.” Men are not merely making decisions that are easy and comfortable, they are instead looking to the future. The north star by which men make these courageous decisions is Jesus. They want their family to honor Him, and so they filter decisions and challenges through the simple lens, “how will this impact my family’s honoring of King Jesus?”
For example, your son may be invited to play on a prestigious, travel baseball team for which the tournaments keep you out of church half of the year. Your wife finds it attractive because of the friends he would make through time on the team, but as a man, you see the impact this would have on your family. You say no with a God-given strength and courage and as graciously as you can walk through the disappointment both your son and your wife may feel.
This kind of leadership should always be expressed with gentleness and humility, but it cannot be abdicated. Remember men, something or someone is leading your family, God’s called you to do this with the God-given strength he provides.
My ministry as a pastor has largely been focused on men. “Spencer, don’t you care about women?” I absolutely do! I long to see our women serving in ministry, discipling other women, actively engaging in the life of our church and flourishing in God-given callings. But the best way for me to serve women in this church and the community we live in is to see our church challenge and produce Godly men who are qualified and capable husbands, fathers, church members and workers. When a church commits to cultivate godly men, it actually impacts families and communities in a profound way. This is needed now more than ever.
Spencer Plumlee
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